My last Blog…
You know that feeling when you start something and it feels nice and comfortable like eating past capacity, stretch marks all over your stomach, vomiting to make room for more, Diarherra. Well, the thing I’m talking about, which initially made me feel comfortable is now clouded with threatening thoughts. I’m tip toeing around what I’m talking about to create suspense. To create an environment where you may think I’m talking about bird watching but I may also be talking about slowly poisoning someone with drops of bleach in their morning cup of coffee. Waiting to reveal it to them when it’s finally too late. I watch them fall from a high place as they lose the balancing part of their brain because of all the bleach and the other things I would do like shattered glass pieces in their bed, so small they would have no clue what is causing all the microscopic abrasions. Though I am effectively creating suspense right now the thing that is currently creating suspense in my life right now is not bird watching or murder. It’s blogging. Boom! What Fourth wall shattered! But can you blame me? THE PRESSURE! I recently took a week off and getting back into the swing of things is like being on a swing and you start pumping your legs, but you're so big because of how often you eat past capacity, stretch marks all over your stomach, vomiting to make room for more, Diarrhea, that you collapse the entire jungle gym. Wanna know something that doesn’t help when you want to write an entry on your blog? Being sexy. Knowing writing in public is gonna cause a commotion. After all nothing makes guys hornier than realizing that women have come so far and can now read, write and vote. With that said, many women can’t really vote correctly. I imagine the current editor and chief of America was simply chosen based on women not being able to read the instructions on the ballot, thinking to select the person they didn’t want in office. It's funny how things change, but really they never do. Like right now I am considering this to be my final blog entry, and whenever I inevitably write the next one, it will be thinking the exact same thing. I was recently in Florida, going through airport security, because I had time to kill and hadn’t had someone feel me up like I had a full crack pipe up my anus. They had a slideshow of all the guns that were off limits. Technically all guns were prohibited past the airport doors besides the ones daddy grows to keep Zoey safe. I just found it so on the nose that of course in Florida they treated the “No Guns Allowed” sign like a slideshow for the deceased like from the Grammys. Some things just never change. We are all on a loop and even though we are on a loop and guns will always be treasured as works of art in the state of Florida and I will always be frustrated to write a new blog and curse the day I was born, I write such important truth bombs. The world is watching, reading rather, and I need to use that to my advantage. When cult leaders realize they have power over people, they don’t just give up and head to the arcade. They find a way to take their follower’s money and get them to drink kool aid. I haven’t gotten that far in my cult, but I think my Kool Aid will be something like making a zoo in my backyard full of bear and gorillas and you can’t truly be approved as one of my followers until you can dress them up like thotiana. Probably the bear and gorillas will kill all the followers of mine, but once the bear and gorillas kill the last person and I’m all that's left, I will adorn them with sashes that reads “Bride”. We’ll get drunk in Atlantic City, get married and ascend to join my disciples of thotitude. Then we dance. I kinda can’t wait cause I probably won’t even have to write blogs at that point cause my hands will just go through stuff as a ghost and all. Once I finally become a ghost of the darkness I’ll escape to the countryside. I’ve always been curious when I was gonna move to the countryside where it's grass and dark at night. Ask me to give it a better description and be very disappointed because I know very little about the countryside, but that frozen Jimmy Dean frozen meals are made there. It’s the kind of place you scream and nobody hears you. It would also be a great place to have a monopoly on fruit stands. Very little competition considering everyone is stuck selling Jimmy Dean sausages. I would jack up the prices and start slowly poisoning everyone in town with fruit covered in asbestos. I would create phycological warfare too. Starting rumors about everyone in town, for example. Gossip always starts at the fruit stands. Once people start dying I will feed them to the bear and gorillas I found in the impassable forest. We eventually get married and you probably know the rest. This blog started as my last one and now I have a steady marriage with animals lined up, a thriving business of selling fruit with spicy syrup on it coming soon and a full blown cult that I will soon massacre. I will never stop and can never be stopped. Those who try are blatantly threatening their lives with poisoned fruit and gorilla bears. This is so fun!
