there’s a bus full of people going to fat camp

Death by cholesterol. People do it everyday and they probably love doing it right up until the end when the organs begin failing. It’s nobody’s choice to be a foodie as it’s nobody’s fault that lightning could strike you and rid you of a life with kids and a pool.  For me personally I would never die from my cholesterol, I barely know her. haha! I don’t even know what it is or what it looks like, to be honest as Abe was. If I had to guess it would be yellow like the fat Oprah takes around in her wagon from place to place. I wasn’t really all that alive in the 90s even though that’s the generation I’ve decided my soul grew up in, but Oprah really popularized dieting and slimming down back in those days. I think she just as well popularized gaining it all back and growing as big as a house as a way to keep people talking. Is she gonna be an elephant today or a small mouse with a small nose sniffing around for crumbs of cholesterol free variety. I know that cholesterol is listed on the back of foods along with all the other propaganda on the nutrition facts. There's so many words back there that reading them all would lead you into a madness and you eventually end up at a landfill of broken dreams. There’s nothing clever about what they're doing with the nuterience facts. I knew this girl who would research everything she put in her body because her body “was a temple”. What she didn’t realize is that If her body was actually a temple she would have to get bariatric surgery because I don’t know if anybody else knows this but temples are gargantuan. There’s temples in Asia that have 100 stairs. Being as big as that temple I think exists in Asia would lead to you getting 100 stares each day because when you’re larger than life itself, and the universe, plus a whole refrigerator people look at you like you’re a monster and you might even eat them if you haven’t had your three breakfasts yet. Anywho, this individual who researched and really took into account everything they put into their body was never happy. She didn’t smile. The joy of throwing something into your mouth and waiting to see what flavors happen on your tongue, then what happens once it gets into your intestines and reacts with your genetic chemistry, is thrown out of the window on the highway then gets run over by a bus full of people going to fat camp. This girl I’m talking about was me. It actually wasn’t me. I am able to lie and keep up with it because I’m not hungry. When you are hungry all the time, all your energy is focused on making sure your arms don’t fall off. Once you stop giving your body what it needs, it downsizes. Bye neck! It was nice being able to look left right then left again when crossing the street. Bye to my kidneys! I’ll just pee out of my liver instead. Though I have had my fair share of trying crash diets and limiting the amount of sticks of butter I have in a day, nobody cares more about the nutrient density of their food like my grandma does. Everything has to have unsaturated omega-3s in it. She's also a raging cunt. She thinks her lack of Cholesterol makes her God himself. If she's God, then I would like to kill God, because I am not ok with living in a topsy turvy world where we can’t enjoy the simple pleasures of oreos deep fried in pig fat. The sweetness, the golden crispness and the meat all come together to make me say “yum”! If that bad cookie that is my grandmother, who I luckily see on rare occasions, even saw something of such magnitude as a piggy fried oreo with fries, she would hire an assassin to kill the fatties in charge of the invention.  I say let people live even if it’s shortened by the yellow cholesterol pieces that always find a way to fill you up with deliciousness then break you down with fiery flatulence. I feel like farting is kind of like a thunderstorm. When it happens there is much more on its way and it has the potential to strike someone down into ash. So whatever my stance is, delicious food that has the potential to kill you or slimming down to live a healthier, but much more demanding life. I think I have a stance. I think it’s complicated though, and the only thing that truly matters is that of the people I have met in my life there are fat people that are golden in their huge souls. They would take a bullet for me because it would bounce right off. There are other obese people who have screamed at me and made me feel like a Palestinian on the Gaza Strip. The same can be said for skinny people and people who are in between fat and skinny in their transitional periods as they continue their second dose of Ozempic. There are great fats and great skinnys and I want everyone to be happy. Boom! Case closed and with that said I’m going to the fair and buying all the people in electric scooters funnel cakes!